How to Negotiate: Four Tips for Winning the Deal

We negotiate on a daily basis: sometimes with friends and family, and other times with people who have some kind of authority over us, like a boss or a teacher. In each case, we need a psychological edge to win the negotiation, and that is what we're going to discuss here.

1. Know thy enemy

The first piece of advice is to know who you're negotiating with. Is the person the soft, lenient type, or a tough personality who craves respect and dignity? Some tactics only work on certain types of people, so this kind of information is indispensable if you want to win the deal.

2. Never give the impression of uncertainty

Be sure and firm in your decisions, and don't let the other party see that you're doubting or hesitating. This is not to say you should never change your mind. If the other offer seems more reasonable, that's the way to go; just make sure you stand by your new position.

3. The secret of negotiating

Always start with a higher bid! You have no idea what an effect this has on a deal. Let's say you are negotiating for a higher salary. You earn $20 per hour and want to raise that to $25. What do you do?

First of all, don't start by asking for $25. Instead, start by asking your boss for something much higher (a figure they most likely won't accept), say $45. Your boss refuses, and now you "come down" with a more moderate proposal instead:

"Well... if that was too much to ask, how about only a $5 raise instead?"

Now your boss feels somewhat relieved, and the second offer sounds far more pleasing. You have a real chance of getting it.

4. Name the benefits

Kindness doesn't always work. Sometimes you need to give your boss strong reasons to accept your proposal. So make a list of at least five strong points on why you deserve a raise.

When you've written them down, have someone else review the list. You need feedback on whether it sounds too naive or whether it could actually convince the other person. This is the true power and skill of negotiating.